Symptoms of Being Hooked

  • Feeling offended or insulted, being stressed, worrying, disapproving.
  • Swearing, striking out at someone, destroying, attacking, taking revenge.
  • Making physical gestures or faces (giving the finger, sticking out the tongue, etc.).
  • Emotional reactions, uncontrolled rage, childish fears or sadness.
  • Expressing violent temper, feeling glad when someone else feels pain.
  • Feeling as a victim, sacrificing yourself, thinking “I have to,” being disgusted.
  • Resenting, judging, criticizing, blaming, threatening.
  • Trying to be right, defending yourself, justifying yourself.
  • Role-playing a character, being inauthentic, overdoing it, underdoing it.
  • Being numb, being indifferent (as opposed to being neutral).
  • Pouting, sulking, making excuses, giving up hope, resignation.
  • Being cynical, ironical, being self–important, bragging, exaggerating.
  • Being stuck in linear thinking, trying to be prepared for anything.
  • Competing, challenging, comparing with others, envy, jealousy.
  • Excluding others, feeling superior, trying to look good, being arrogant.
  • Thinking that you have lost, feeling like a failure, isolating from others, feeling depressed.
  • Defending your position, arguing, giving reasons, saying, “Yes, but…”
  • Being adaptive, “kissing ass,” giving your center away, trying to be nice.
  • Manipulating, blackmailing, forcing your way, trying to make order.
  • Complaining, feeling “sour grapes”; saying “So what!”; ignoring someone.
  • Backbiting, gossiping, triangulating, having arguments in your mind.
  • Forgetting your destiny or your Principles.
  • Panicking, compulsive behavior, addictive behavior, mechanical behavior.
  • Being embarrassed, saying, “I cannot,” feeling stage fright, being stuck at GO.
  • Losing your attention, being distracted by advertising, snooping, voyeurism.
  • Hesitating, being speechless, stalling, delaying, oversleeping, daydreaming.
  • Answering questions with questions, saying, “Of course!”
  • Name calling, making fun of someone, imitating someone else’s mannerisms.
  • Interrupting conversations, having to tell your opinion, having to do something.
  • Saying, “Always,” or, “Never,” trying to be perfect, trying to be the best.
  • Thinking that you can win, trying to profit, trying to have power over others.
  • Trying to hook someone back, trying to piss someone else off.
  • Pretending to be unhookable…

and so on…

The above guide is a map that you can use to find out where you are. The moment you have any of the above behaviors, attitudes or experiences, you are hooked! (Go directly to Jail do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.) It does not work to try to be unhookable once you are already hooked. 

The paradox of staying unhookable is that you will always have a Box. If you have a Box then there will always be something that can be hooked into. Clearly, finding unhookability will have to involve numerous nonlinear approaches, because there is no obvious linear approach. Here are twenty-five experiments for staying unhookable. Most of these approaches for staying unhookable are indirectly explained in this book and the terms are defined in the Glossary. Do not expect to already understand them. Rather than looking for a detailed explanation of each one, unzip your imagination and try a few experiments, using whatever you would guess they might be, to stay unhookable.