Section 6-K HOOKED OR NOT-HOOKED
Extraordinary Human Relationship depends on you staying “unhookable.” Being unhookable means having the capacity to act independently from the circumstances, no matter what the circumstances are. A “hook” is any stimulus that might cause an automatic emotional reaction. The list of potential hooks is endless. It can drive people instantly nuts if you chew with your mouth open, ring the doorbell twice, insinuate that someone is stupid, criticize someone’s religion, brag about your kids’ grades, give problem solutions unasked for, continuously talk, make house decoration suggestions, refuse to tell your birthday, give away a movie plot before someone has seen the movie, and so on.
Obviously it is not you that gets hooked; it is your Box that gets hooked. You can prove this because different hooks catch different kinds of “fish,” meaning what hooks one person’s Box may be invisible to another’s. The instant you are hooked you lose access to any possibilities other than your Box’s mechanical reactions – you forget what Extraordinary and Archetypal possibilities are and how to go there. You are stuck in Ordinary Human Relationship. The brain dumps a truckload of hormones into your system and your adrenaline shoots through the roof. You can’t hide being hooked because everybody around you sees and feels the side effects. It takes a minimum of fifteen minutes to metabolize the chemicals out of your system and return to normal again – fifteen minutes you will never get back again.
Each of us contains a variety of internal characters or parts, one of which – known as the “Gremlin”¬– derives great joy by hooking other people. Some Gremlins entertain themselves by seeing how many people they can hook in a day, because once a person is hooked, the Gremlin has won. Hooking others is also a strong defensive strategy for the Box because once you have hooked someone else they have no power to create unpredictable behaviors.
Human beings are so easily hooked that if you actually succeed at becoming even partly unhookable you almost seem inhuman. Staying unhookable, while still remaining human, is an art form.
Staying unhookable does not mean unfeeling, isolated, shut down or numb. On the contrary, staying unhookable means that you perceive the hooks with great sensitivity and precision, and while still being compassionate, you shift slightly into a different space before the hooks have a chance to set into the psychological flesh of your Box.
Staying unhookable is not so different from bullfighting. The toreador knows that a bull performs certain predictable movements, which are neither good nor bad; they are simply the movements that bulls make. To interact with the bull the toreador stands with his red cloth to his side, not in front of him. The bull automatically goes for the red cloth. With the cloth held to the side, the bull runs past while doing no harm. The toreador stays in contact with the bull but does not get hit. If the toreador held his cloth in front of him he would bullfight no longer. He would be hooked.
Hooks can be anything – looks, gestures, sounds, physical objects – so you cannot stay unhookable by simply trying to avoid hooks. A true capacity for staying unhookable emerges through first admitting that you are indeed hooked when you realize you are hooked. Start by naming your condition. Say, “I am hooked.” Notice what it feels like, how often it occurs, how long it lasts, and what your hooked-reaction-patterns tend to be. Consciousness creates freedom. Your ability to stay unhookable matures through increased awareness of your Box’s hookability. Here are some common symptoms of being hooked.