Prologue - IT’S NO SECRET
A man tells me he wants to leave his wife because they have not had sex in a year and their relationship is dead. Well, what did they expect? The couple had no chance from the beginning. It is not their fault. They were given no classes about how to stay ecstatically in love, no guidance for enduring intimacy’s intense delights. How could they have learned to create anything different from what was modeled by their parents? The couple tries to have relationship but the man does not know how to protect his woman’s feminine dignity. How could she risk revealing her true sensuality to him? He holds no safe sanctuary for her to unfold into! The man has no reference point for directing his attention or keeping his center, no connection to his feelings at all. He does not recognize that the thinness of his personality is his true source of power. The man could use uncertainty as a way for making right-angled turns at light-speed, bringing his woman along for the adventure. Instead he regards his inner spaciousness as a handicap and masks it with a show of toughness or professionalism. He turns to whatever the culture offers to prove his manliness – an expensive car, a corner office, the latest mobile phone. But the man himself remains adolescent, having undergone no rite of passage to shock pulses of life into his archetypal masculine structures. So the revolutionary in him who could make changes to benefit the world watches videos instead. The courageous inventor who could generate wonderful new viewpoints to lift the hearts of humanity goes gambling. The noble leader in him stays home and masturbates. Like the rest of us who attended school he has been forced to sever his internal connection to deep imagination, so no flood of dynamic nonlinear actions brings his life to life. He is dead. He is dead. He thinks of his woman as something to consume like a candy bar, like a movie, like a plate of food that you can send back to the cook if you don’t like it, instead of something to create, like a possible goddess, like a temple of tenderness, like a trembling love poem. Forced to constrict himself to a mental world, it’s no secret that the only ecstasy he feels is intellectual. Thus blinded, he forfeits his natural gifts for unlocking the sensual feminine “being” before him, aching to explore worlds of sexuality beyond his wildest dreams.